"All the structures that are supposed to be there in time of need are not."

Starting on the eve of the lockdown in Los Angeles County, photographer and “King of Fetish” Rick Castro has been publishing a daily diary on his blog. (Originally named Antebellum, a Latin term that means “before the war,” the blog was presciently reborn in 2016 as Bellum—a think-tank slash political salon for a newly tumultuous political climate turned yet more dystopian amid a global pandemic.) Fleeing LA in his dad’s 1990 Ford Explorer, Castro headed to his mother’s cabin in the California desert to wait out the plague with a potbelly stove and infrared heater. One month into near-total isolation, Castro is sharing his thoughts and reflections with Document. So is this how the world will end?

Read yesterday’s diary entry here.

I have nothing to write about today. Nothing happened, nothing is interesting, and it’s not writers block. It’s apathy…. Apathy for fellow human beings who do absolutely nothing to help one another. My family is MIA, my friends are in their own desperations of keeping their lives together. All the structures that are supposed to be there in time of need are not.

Apparently I’m not in dire enough need to qualify for the thousands of grants and subsidies I see offered online every hour. I’ve pleaded and begged with my landlord, utilities, and phone provider to please give me a break… I need a fuckin’ break.

MetroPCS, which I’ve been with for over six years, postures like business as usual during this pandemic and will not extend any more hotspot. In the remote high desert, this is the only way I can be online. So far this month, I’ve spent $95 to have wifi. I’m sure for many of you that’s nothing, for me it’s a lot, because I have no more $$ to spend. Therefore I cannot host virtual tea salons, virtual happy hour(!), virtual book clubs, and virtual writing workshops, because I have no more access to internet.

So I have nothing to say today. I’ll just post some pretty pictures.

Please donate to Rick Castro (PayPal/Venmo): It’s the right thing to do.