Everything you need to know about dating during the quar

Right after the quarantine began I saw a lot of bragging from the 1% (the 1% being girls with boyfriends), rubbing it in our faces that during the lockdown they will be able to have sex, talk to someone, be held, kiss each other on the mouth, etc. It seems like having a boyfriend is a best-case scenario, but speaking as someone who has been inside with a guy for over an hour before, it’s going to turn into a nightmare fast. Being single during the quarantine is actually the best-case scenario because you have the opportunity to re-experience romance and walk out of the quarantine with 7 boyfriends you’ve never met before. Here are some tips on how to do that:

If you make the horrible but forgivable decision to quarantine with your ex, just make sure you’re talking to at least 3 other guys to balance it out.

If you haven’t taken hundreds of photos of yourself already, do it now. I took all my nudes/selfies/pics-of-me-making-pancakes-in-an-evening-gown on the first day before my body began deteriorating and I lost the will to take off the sweatpants I perioded in on day 2. Then I can ration them out to guys and Instagram (the real boyfriend) throughout the quarantine.

I was feeling down but I finally mustered the strength to put on my work clothes and the experts are right! It really works!

Select your guys: you want to pick your drafts early on in the season. It’s sort of like applying to colleges, you want to pick a safety and a reach. Any guys you’ve been on one date with? Fellas who have DM’ed you before? Maybe you’re going for the gold and you DM a D-list celebrity! Rules are out the window babes!

Now that you’re chatting with your 3-11 corona boyfriends (any more than that can be overwhelming) you’re ready to move to the next step: FaceTime dates. You can plan it, where you both dress up and eat dinner and have a glass of wine or you can call him drunk at like 2:15pm and be like, “what’s upp. I’m watching movie :(” I think both are romantic.

Let romance build. The good news is you don’t have to do much since we’re in a worldwide pandemic and the drama is already there! Then, when this is over you either get married or have sex once and realize you have no chemistry. It’s just like the show we were all watching three weeks ago! Enjoy angel hotties <3